Bagutbot // Bagulbol

I finally got myself to do the ‘bloggin’… I have so many thoughts running through my head that I do not even know where to start! Not to mention the emotions that go along with these thoughts… I finally succumbed to the succulent idea of writing down what I only savor thinking… I mean, I used to keep a journal a long time ago, when I was just a naive (stupid, if you will) teenage ‘angst’ queen… Never one to miss an opportunity to jot down the latest book read, the cutest guy to walk down the halls in school (not that there ever was one at SMI! ewww.. maybe at UST– hmmm, lemme’ think), or the rumblings of a hungry heart trying to make sense of everything that goes on in her teenage life… Come to think of it, being a teenager was  not so fun at all, was it? For me, that is… Parties? Yeahh.. Guys? U-huh.. Exams? Arghh.. PARENTS?!.. duh!.. It would take me forever to write down all the things that make a girl go crazy back then… I grew up in the early ’90s when glam rock already started drowning in all the hairsprays, eyeliners, tight leather pants, dirty long hairs, irritating solo guitar riffs that go on for ages, and anything and everything you could imagine associated with this seriously deranged era of rock & roll… Thank God for "heroin"– Cobain started this i-am-not-a-wannabe/come-as-you-are music that changed the history of rock. I was just kidding on the heroin part.. He died thinking the shotgun would finaly blow away and end all his miseries, it did, and it blew his brains out to smithereens as well! Poor guy, uh, not Cobain (he’s a legend now,  mind you) I mean, the one whose job was to clean out the mess after Cobain’s suicide… duh!.. And, oh, puhleezz, don’t you mention ‘grunge’ here… It would surely raise the hairs on my butt (or back, whatever) if you say that word— I was one of the so-called ‘believers’ in that era where you can be who you are, dress anyway you want, live life to the fullest…. duh!… It never occured to me that trying so hard to be who you’re not– trying to be NOT a ‘wannabe’ made you ONE… a wannabe… duh!… It has always been and always will be an ‘unwritten law’ (cool band, check it out) that it’s way more cooler to be yourself than pretend to be otherwise… What you are is up to you, and the coolest thing about accepting who and what you are is– you’re done with all the burden of getting dressed ‘right’, feeling ‘right’, hanging out with the ‘right’ crowd, all that crap… Ever since the world began, all we ever wanted was to belong… whether in our family, our neighborhood, school, our circle of friends (this is the toughest during  your younger days where you’re angst-ridden and all)… What is always important is to learn to accept your limits and capacities, and accept yourself as you are… No false pretenses, no hypocrisy. Just YOU. And then, eventually, everyone will start to see you for who you truly are and will also learn to like and respect you because beneath all our physical aspects, we are all human beings trying to survive and find our own happiness in this grand scheme called life…